Blue Light Jazz
I'm reading Blue Light Jazz right now. Wow. It's such an easy read and so ridiculously easy to associate with. But yet deep. And for once - a book written by an unmarried person that is not about singleness.
Ok, basically I feel really shallow right now. I am a very shallow person. Not only am I shallow, I think that I am the main character in the movie called "life".
When one thinks they are the main character they believe that everything in life is either for, against, or irrelevant to them. Everyone else in life is either an interruption, an opponent, or an asset. Everything is judged according to how it benefits or inconveniences me.
Life is seen as a continuum of MY self improvement and MY personal goals.
Along with me feeling that way, the majority of 6 billion other people on this planet are also feeling the same way.
It makes me feel dizzy. Like some sort of pin ball. It makes life ruthless and it makes my condition of happiness completely dependent on whether or not my desires are frustrated or fulfilled. And my desires are completely caught up in me.
I am not a main character, I am a supporting character with a very important role that Jesus has lovingly written out for me, but if I'm always so busy trying to write my own lines or push myself on to main stage I will be continually frustrated and I will miss having the sheer joy of playing the roles I was born to play and properly supporting all of the other roles that are simultaneously being played out all around me.
Community is a beautiful God thing and it is the opposite of that pin ball machine. Just the thought of it makes me relax. But it also means that we all need to be open to allow people to walk on and off our stage with their sets of lines and actions and we need to be ready to support them even if we didn't write them into our script that morning.
Yes, folks, I know this is not rocket science. But there are simpletons like me that need more than just a few reminders.
The other major pondering that really struck a chord was the parallel between trying to understand our need for love and our need for a faith/spirituality . I found it interesting that the author found both hard to understand too. I always look at couples who love each other and I DON'T GET IT. Like, what makes him think she's all that and what does she see in him. Besides the basic physical desire for sex, it's just amazing how it's' just so much more that that. We are just made to desire this thing (soul mate love for lack of a better term) and even though we've never had it we feel like we need it. How do we know we need something when we've never had it. How do we know it exists if we've never experienced it? And it's crazy that people are willing to give up their own desires to be in a relationship with that soul mate.
I love it in the movie "Wedding Singer" during the part where Adam Sandler and the guy who dresses like The Fonz are out for drinks. The Fonz guy has never settled down with any one woman and is a bit of a player. But then he gets good and drunk and they are walking home and The Fonz guy has a break down and cries "All I want is for someone to love me and tell me that everything is going to be alright"
Kelly ( my brother) and I loved that line. After watching that movie we would randomly yell out that line in the middle of irrelevant conversations.
And then there is that faith spirituality thing. We just know we need it and we don't know why. We are just wired like that. I tried to give up my faith in God for a significant amount of time in Bible school - didn't work. It felt all wrong like I was trying to become a fish or something like that.
I've had more success with faith than soul mate love. So a lot of times I'm a huge cynic. But I think that believing that we were made with an innate desire for both and that the desire in one case also led to a resolution, so there is probably a resolution for the other one too. It's just that at least in the case of faith and spirituality - the resolution is a sinless unselfish loving immortal and the soul mate, on the other hand, is going to be another screwy human. Which indicates it's going to be tough resolution all the same - but apparently worth it.
Ok, basically I feel really shallow right now. I am a very shallow person. Not only am I shallow, I think that I am the main character in the movie called "life".
When one thinks they are the main character they believe that everything in life is either for, against, or irrelevant to them. Everyone else in life is either an interruption, an opponent, or an asset. Everything is judged according to how it benefits or inconveniences me.
Life is seen as a continuum of MY self improvement and MY personal goals.
Along with me feeling that way, the majority of 6 billion other people on this planet are also feeling the same way.
It makes me feel dizzy. Like some sort of pin ball. It makes life ruthless and it makes my condition of happiness completely dependent on whether or not my desires are frustrated or fulfilled. And my desires are completely caught up in me.
I am not a main character, I am a supporting character with a very important role that Jesus has lovingly written out for me, but if I'm always so busy trying to write my own lines or push myself on to main stage I will be continually frustrated and I will miss having the sheer joy of playing the roles I was born to play and properly supporting all of the other roles that are simultaneously being played out all around me.
Community is a beautiful God thing and it is the opposite of that pin ball machine. Just the thought of it makes me relax. But it also means that we all need to be open to allow people to walk on and off our stage with their sets of lines and actions and we need to be ready to support them even if we didn't write them into our script that morning.
Yes, folks, I know this is not rocket science. But there are simpletons like me that need more than just a few reminders.
The other major pondering that really struck a chord was the parallel between trying to understand our need for love and our need for a faith/spirituality . I found it interesting that the author found both hard to understand too. I always look at couples who love each other and I DON'T GET IT. Like, what makes him think she's all that and what does she see in him. Besides the basic physical desire for sex, it's just amazing how it's' just so much more that that. We are just made to desire this thing (soul mate love for lack of a better term) and even though we've never had it we feel like we need it. How do we know we need something when we've never had it. How do we know it exists if we've never experienced it? And it's crazy that people are willing to give up their own desires to be in a relationship with that soul mate.
I love it in the movie "Wedding Singer" during the part where Adam Sandler and the guy who dresses like The Fonz are out for drinks. The Fonz guy has never settled down with any one woman and is a bit of a player. But then he gets good and drunk and they are walking home and The Fonz guy has a break down and cries "All I want is for someone to love me and tell me that everything is going to be alright"
Kelly ( my brother) and I loved that line. After watching that movie we would randomly yell out that line in the middle of irrelevant conversations.
And then there is that faith spirituality thing. We just know we need it and we don't know why. We are just wired like that. I tried to give up my faith in God for a significant amount of time in Bible school - didn't work. It felt all wrong like I was trying to become a fish or something like that.
I've had more success with faith than soul mate love. So a lot of times I'm a huge cynic. But I think that believing that we were made with an innate desire for both and that the desire in one case also led to a resolution, so there is probably a resolution for the other one too. It's just that at least in the case of faith and spirituality - the resolution is a sinless unselfish loving immortal and the soul mate, on the other hand, is going to be another screwy human. Which indicates it's going to be tough resolution all the same - but apparently worth it.
posted by Kendra Fehr at
10:08 AM
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