Faith or Stubborness?!!!!!

So am I stubborn or do I have faith? Is the only reason I want a teaching job for next year because rejection makes me more stubborn? Because Canada rejects me or Saskatchewan, or the old boys club, whatever abstract scapegoat I want to blame for my inability to find employment in my career area.

The only problem is that I did teach for three years under not the easiest circumstances (culture/language issues, a few unbalanced colleagues, ridiculous administration run from Hong Kong, 9 - 11 hour days, attention starved students being raised by maids, loneliness, SARS, Iraq war, and the death of my brother) ...and I still want to teach.

I'm just actually good at it and it makes me feel like I'm offering something good to the world. Idealistic and cheesy as it may sound, but I feel like I'm making a difference.

But who can see that in an interview. What am I not communicating fully? Did they already know who they were going to hire before they even interviewed me? Was it just a ritual that they had to go through to look like they were offering the job to the public and not their next door neighbor or nephew?

So is God telling me something or is he testing my persistence. He seems to love persistence in the Bible, but he hates stubbornness.

What else would I do well at and feel fulfilled by in life? Things that enter my brain.... feeding hungry people in third world countries, working in orphanages and helping people (with out any medical techniques or I'll faint), working with troubled teens, working with immigrants and helping them get settled in a new land..... (Basically all the things in life where you have to volunteer or raise money so that you can do it)

Let's face it, I need to marry rich and be a humanitarian.

OR.... become an actress or a welder or work at Starbucks making frothy drinks for hot yuppies.

I used to be that hot yuppie!! Now I'm just hot.

I've got nothing left but my good looks.

Yes... marry rich.

God has spoken.