I'm a judger

I'm a pretty analytical person. I critique. I question. And I have an opinion on just about everything.

The problem is I can also very quickly turn into a judger. This is a problem. I start making opinionated comments that make others feel judged. It also really starts limiting which type of people I can hang out with. I don't like this.

This worries me on two levels - I'm a people person - my business is people, my job is people, my faith and relationships with people are tightly intertwined.

The second level is I fear if I don't check myself I'll only hang out with people like me. Which - really it's really hard to find people like me. And if that then translates to marriage - lets face it I'll never get married. I need to be willing to be close to people who have very different opinions on some things.

Last night on the plane I made up a list of things I judge and things I no longer judge just because I was feeling overwhelmed by my spirit of criticism.

The things I judge are not always things I am guilt free of. I judge me constantly and I feel bad because I don't meet my ideal.

Things I judge (these are in no particular order)

Thomas Kinkaid
People who hang pictures that Thomas Kinkaid painted in their living rooms
School systems that cut the art program
People who teach art and get kids to make crafts
Churches that do a guilt speech before offering is taken
People who overspiritualize their vocabulary
People in the ministry that don't work as hard as people in the secular workplace
People in the ministry that aren't good stewards of their money
Housewives that drive Hummers
Young single guys that drive large Dodge Rams with huge trailers behind them with four wheelers
Large vehicles in general that burn too much fossil fuels and are bought for prestige and not for practicality
People who honk
Support of Israel no matter what it does
Associating war with religious endorsement
People who got married super young and look at me in pity
People who don't support women in ministry
Cultural insensitivity
People that live overseas but don't try to learn the language and who live exactly like they did in their home countries
People who order/cook more than they can eat and then who waste the food (can we say tupperware or doggie bag please)
People who talk about their weight all of the time
People who can't rough it
Women who whine
Women who can't live with out a boyfriend
Women who pretend they have no brains in order to get male attention


(and on the most seious level)
Child Abusers
Sexual Abusers
People who indorse and spread pornography
People who sell children into Prostitution
Drug dealers
People who cheat in general
Backpackers that endorse local prostitution with foreign women (can we say "sexual colonialism!")
business men who have mistrisses and prostitutes while away from their families



And to be quite honest - some of these things I will never be able to accept in friends or relationships - like the last grouping of things obviously.

But what if I fall in love with a city man who can't rough it and who drives a dodge ram (even though he can't off road) and whose brother is in the army for a war I don't support and whose mother hangs Thomas Kinkaid in her hummer and whose dad honks too much. That's ok.

(but to be quite honest - he better love Jesus a lot and be pretty darn hot to make up for it)

And I don't know why I'm so good at having opinions. I have an opinion on just about everything and sometimes it's a bit ridiculous. The problem is I'm so curious about everything and I read so much and I ask a ridiculous amount of questions.

In general - I just need to balance my gift of critique with love and acceptance.